Thank You for Smoking. You Should Die.

I always theorise about smoking, people who smoke and people around them. The act of smoking itself is a very interesting process very much in need of my funnily juvenile view of psychoanalysis. Some people may have heard my sentiments but it never came across me to sit down and systematically put them down in words. But I guess it is time now just when I realise that human are wilful animals, there are hopes even in the most seemingly impossible case.

The most unique characteristic of smoking is the fact that it is not like eating, drinking or sex. Smoking is not one of those things that we were born to do. People don’t die of not smoking. If smoking is an organ, it would be an appendix that would do nothing except to make noise with appendicitis and later comes appendectomy.

But why? Why in this God-forsaken world would some smoke? Why create appendix?

Forget the fancy ‘peer pressure’; I rather say insecurity. (Hey! Don’t throw your butts to me yet!). I mean, ‘peer pressure’ or ‘rebellion’ is the word to describe it if you started smoking when you were 14 (just like my dad) but if you started when you were 18 or 21 (just like my bro) I should call it insecurity.

Come on! You are not a rebel if you started smoking at 18, the legal age to smoke. You are just insecure and feel that you are left out by your so called cool and rebellious friends. You are suckers to befriend smokers! You are just fucking followers.

Smoking is also sex-related. I saw a father smiling the proudest smile when his son finally follows his footstep. I read his mind and I saw a father who is sure now that his son is not a fag, he has a fag, a phallic symbol stuck between his lips so there is not place for another you-know-what. He was relieved.

I do not quite understand women, but some find smokers sexier than us, the non-smokers. May be women just like men who die faster (next time you drive, see the losers, they mostly have girlfriends beside them). I don’t claim to understand the complexity of sexual behaviour but if you are a lady, do not ever tell me that you like smokers. The moment you say it, I would imagine you kissing a smoker and I really don’t like the view.

Not that I hate you for smoking or because you choose to hog smokers. I am pro-choice and pro-life, you may do what you might but I might as well do what I might by picturing you kissing some nicotine tarred mouth.