Belly Bulge? Damn It!

I have been living as a thin boy, I was chubby when I was very little but all the baby fat was gone long before my school years. I was thin throughout. Very thin in fact.

When people ask, ‘Which Azrul?’ the answer would be about thinness and tallness. That would most often be the case. That’s my quality, my characteristics that people will know me.

Then one day, this year, I realised that there were some bulge above my belt. I was like “Fuck! I am fat!”. When you run your fingers from the crotch up, it should not be any bulge. Even if you have one, it should not be above the belt. That would be outrageously too much.

I told almost everybody about the fucking bulge. I just could not stand it. When you sit, you have to really, really sit straight up or else the bulge will go over your belt and it felt so extremely uncomfortable. Get my drift? And to sit this straight up, writing a whole blog entry (like what I am doing right now, damn it!), you should just imagine the pain.

May be I am overreacting, but this is something going against your self. This is something detrimental to the one person I always believe I am. Fat people (by ‘fat people’ I don’t mean it to be an insult or embarrassment, it just a condition just like ‘thin people’) may say they have been living like this for years. Yes, that’s why you don’t feel a thing; you have found yourself and got comfortable with the fact. But I never knew I would ever-ever be fat.

I should be thin like a rock star (is there any fat rock star?) or heroin addict, Mark Renton thin. I can consider being vegetarian thin or a little bit on the tough side, but to have belly bulge is beyond me. Far beyond. I need to do some sit up now.